I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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