Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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