I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
