So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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