this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
