i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
