The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
