lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
