everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
