She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
