Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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