TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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