So drunk its hurt
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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