idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
