I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
