That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
