I am puke
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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