btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Damn victory sex feels great
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
