She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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