I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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