i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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