I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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