question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize