Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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