but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
