I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
No I am not eating basil off your cock
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
