I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
