She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
