I think I am morally bankrupt
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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