We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
