I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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