i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
