Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
