my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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