grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she told me i tasted like america
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
