What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
