Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
