Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
