your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
