I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
This baby is an asshole
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
