I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
