Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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