the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
