If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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