dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
