i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
