at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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