what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
