Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
