Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
