just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
