trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
