Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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