You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
